I feel so far from where I thought I would be at this time in my life. I am in my 30's, married, have 3 kids. And I love that part of life. But, we are all living in the same 2 bedroom townhouse Andrew and I bought when we first got married. We still sometimes live paycheck to paycheck. We can't buy anything...1 because we refuse to go into debt to buy something we don't really need and can't pay for in cash, and 2 the bankruptcy keeps us from moving right now.
We don't have a HD tv, we don't have a laptop, we don't have the newest and greatest things out there. We don't NEED them, but they sure would be nice. I have to remind myself all the time why we are in the sorry boat that we are, and never want to be there again! Bankruptcy sucks, and anyone who thinks it is the easy way out is fooling themselves. It hurts!
We need a bigger home. With a bigger yard for my kids to run in. I just get sick looking at houses that are bigger that we can afford and have about the same payment we are paying for this house. And they are bigger and have a bigger yard. And a few of them even have a POOL! Andrew and I both want a pool, and are probably not going to move until we find a house that we like with one!
We have SO much work to do to get this house ready to sell. I don't think we have a problem selling it. It is very close to a military base and has a great school system. I would live here forever (I love the location), but we have outgrown the house. I think it's great that the kids share a room, but they are different sexes and before long that will come into play. I think they need more privacy (from each other, not the parentals!) and a place to get away from each other! It is hard to do here!
So, according to our time line we should be able to start looking for a new place next October. About a year and a half. I think I can wait! I have been doing it this long, shouldn't be hard. I just get discouraged sometimes!
I also feel so far from God. I don't go to church like I should. I am torn between some things that I won't write about right now, but it is hard when you marry into a different denomination. I personally don't like the whole denominations of Christianity. I have questions and my husband does too, so its hard! To me a Christian is a Christian and it shouldn't matter, but...anyway, enough on that!
Ok, that's enough venting for today! Noah is at Pa and Ma's and the little's are napping. I think I will go read a little in my Bible and then get back to organizing/purging of toys! That is what I was doing before lunch!