Getting a little serious...


I'm getting serious here.

I feel so far from where I thought I would be at this time in my life.  I am in my 30's, married, have 3 kids.  And I love that part of life. But, we are all living in the same 2 bedroom townhouse Andrew and I bought when we first got married. We still sometimes live paycheck to paycheck.  We can't buy anything...1 because we refuse to go into debt to buy something we don't really need and can't pay for in cash, and 2 the bankruptcy keeps us from moving right now.

We don't have a HD tv, we don't have a laptop, we don't have the newest and greatest things out there. We don't NEED them, but they sure would be nice.  I have to remind myself all the time why we are in the sorry boat that we are, and never want to be there again!  Bankruptcy sucks, and anyone who thinks it is the easy way out is fooling themselves.  It hurts!

We need a bigger home. With a bigger yard for my kids to run in. I just get sick looking at houses that are bigger that we can afford and have about the same payment we are paying for this house.  And they are bigger and have a bigger yard. And a few of them even have a POOL!  Andrew and I both want a pool, and are probably not going to move until we find a house that we like with one!

We have SO much work to do to get this house ready to sell. I don't think we have a problem selling it. It is very close to a military base and has a great school system. I would live here forever (I love the location), but we have outgrown the house. I think it's great that the kids share a room, but they are different sexes and before long that will come into play. I think they need more privacy (from each other, not the parentals!) and a place to get away from each other!  It is hard to do here!

So, according to our time line we should be able to start looking for a new place next October. About a year and a half. I think I can wait! I have been doing it this long, shouldn't be hard. I just get discouraged sometimes!

I also feel so far from God.  I don't go to church like I should. I am torn between some things that I won't write about right now, but it is hard when you marry into a different denomination. I personally don't like the whole denominations of Christianity. I have questions and my husband does too, so its hard! To me a Christian is a Christian and it shouldn't matter, but...anyway, enough on that!

Ok, that's enough venting for today!  Noah is at Pa and Ma's and the little's are napping. I think I will go read a little in my Bible and then get back to organizing/purging of toys! That is what I was doing before lunch!

2 loving comments:


I can relate to you some. We also live in a two bedroom house. We have two children and one on the way and they will all share a room(and are different genders). We are also not in a place financially right now where moving is an option. It's difficult, but I try to just remember that God will provide when the timing is right. ((hugs)) Hang in there!

Jennifer @ Conversion Diary

Heather, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through! I just now came across this post and wanted to let you know you'll be in my prayers. If it's any consolation at all, a lot of people are also feeling financially strapped and spiritually dry right now, so you're definitely not alone.

If it's any help: when I was going through a very similar situation (in my 30's, financial difficulties, living with my mother with two kids and one on the way), I read a book called He Leadeth Me that brought me tremendous peace. It's a memoir by a priest who went to Russia as a missionary during World War II, but ended up getting arrested for being a Christian and sent to a Siberian death camp. The whole book is about what he learned about how to find God when everything is falling apart and you don't feel close to Him. I can't recommend it highly enough.

Anyway, I pray that things look up soon!