I have been pondering how to write this post. I know what I want to say, but not how to say it, so stay with me here!
I love Jesus, God, the Almighty, the Alpha and the Omega, my provider, my deliverer, my Healer... but do I really live for him like I imply in my blog title? The truth is no, I don't. I want to, more than anything. But, I don't pray everyday...like I want to. I don't read the Bible everyday...like I want to. I don't invite others to know the truth and come to church with me...like I want to. I guess you get the picture.
I really feel like Jesus healed me when I had my stroke in March of 2006. I went through therapy for almost 6 months. My therapist went on vacation in which time Andrew and I were having a very rough patch. We weren't talking much, weren't doing anything together, just drifting apart. Our finances were terrible, not that they are great now, but that's another story! I wasn't making any where near what I had been when I was working so it hurt our finances. The bank was paying me half of my salary and when I was released from the doctors care there was no position for me. To put it lightly, we were struggling. We were looking for a way to make it, sell the house, refinance it, sell Andrew's truck...we didn't want to file for bankruptcy, but we went to Credit Counseling and they told us we would be better off filing for bankruptcy with me not working. Things had gotten bad but in the process I went to church one morning and by God's doing I sat next to a girl that ended up becoming my best friend. I miss her so much right now...but more about that in a minute! After the service I went to the alter to pray and someone asked me what could they pray with me about. I had plenty of stuff to choose from but I said my marriage. I will just say that that day...everything changed! I went back to therapy and my therapist said what happened? I went from scoring in the 40-50% to scoring in the 100% range on what we had been working on. Andrew and I started communicating again and things immediately got better. We found out I was pregnant with Jonah with in 2 months after this.
I will say God works in mysterious ways as I had always wanted to stay at home with my children. I had applied at a couple of places but didn't hear back from anyone. And when we found out I was pregnant Andrew said don't even try to get a job. He would work 2 if he had too but that I wouldn't make enough to miss out on 2 children's lives.
I say all this to say that I owe God my life...but I know I am not giving him all that I should. I want to be honest in my blog as I will look back at it one day. I know family and friends read this so please go with me on this. I make mistakes just like everyone else. But I also know a God that will forgive and forget. Why all people can't do that I will never know.
So speaking of the girl that I sat by at church that day...It was who was to become my best friend Charlotte. She and her husband Clyde became our best friends. If you have been reading my blog for a while you know they are military and moved to Texas last October. They are only supposed to be gone for 4 years. They just found out that Clyde is supposed to be going to Iraq in a few months. Please pray for them. It is amazing how God places people in our lives to help us though the toughest times. My only hope is that I be for her what she was to me. An ear to listen and a heart to pray.
I know this is a scatter brained, random post...but so am I! God bless you all and have a great week!
2 years ago...
I fell in love with another boy...
